How to Move House Painlessly as an Autistic

Are you moving soon? Planning on a move in the future? Here’s some tips to move while honoring your neurodiversity and its unique needs.

Existing as an Autistic person can vary from easy to difficult on a daily basis.

It's especially hard when you have to uproot your life and move all of your belongings and your home somewhere else. Whether across state or country lines, or just down the street, difference can be frightening. Moving is stressful for allistics, let alone Autistics!

There’s so many unknowns to worry about: will your new housemate be kind? Will the room itself be nice? What will the area be like? All of these questions and more will be swirling in your brain.

So, how do you make the journey as painless and shutdown-free as possible?

Here’s some tips and tricks I’ve used, as someone who has moved house about a dozen times in about a decade.

Pack a bag with your everyday essentials
Pack boxes mindfully
Label all boxes on every side, in detail
Take it a day at a time
Move everything (slowly)
Set up a place to relax
Explore as a break from unpacking
Get something over the windows
Final thoughts

Pack a bag with your everyday essentials

Whatever you consider "essential" for yourself, pack them like you're going on a vacation. The idea is: you want the items you use most often easily accessible for yourself. It's frustrating for an allistic to realize they packed away that item they use often, but for an Autistic it could be meltdown-inducing.

Before you even begin to pack boxes, you're going to want to find some luggage to fill with everyday essentials. Things like: toilet paper, your comfiest clothes, some professional clothes if you'll be working over the first few days of your move, and other things you use on a daily basis.

Consider: what are some things you would dearly miss if they weren't readily accessible? These are the items you'll want to stow in your luggage.

For me, this includes additional items like my mouse and my keyboard. When I pack, I keep my monitor and my PC tower where they are easily accessible-- because I personally use them VERY often.

Make sure and include stim toys and other things that will soothe you. Moving is an incredibly stressful process, and you're going to want easy access to things like stuffed animals or soft clothes while you're adjusting.

Just the sight of more common everyday objects instead of cold, unfeeling cardboard boxes will help you acclimate. Even a favorite blanket on the mattress on the floor will be massively beneficial.

Here's a short list of things I would consider generally "essential:"

Toilet paper
Pajama clothes, "safe" clothes e.g. athlesiure wear
Professional clothes (if you work)
Shoes for all the above outfits (slippers, tennis shoes, flats)
Some snacks or non-perishable food you can stash that will soothe you
Medication
Water bottles
Shower towels
Shower supplies
etc

This list will grow as you consider your own needs. Some more items I would need include my bullet journal, my highlighters and pens, and several backpacks/purses for hiking or work.

Pack boxes mindfully

Before you begin packing boxes, consider what general scheme you want to use.

Some people pack boxes by room. For example: bathroom, bedroom, kitchen and more.

Some people pack boxes by level of necessity. For example: "how often or how much do I use these items"?

Other schemes exist as well.

I would recommend a mixture of these methods. I usually start with the deepest, darkest parts of my closet. This allows me to pack everything I know for a fact I won't need in the coming days or weeks. It also allows me to go through these items, setting aside a donation or trash pile for everything I don't need to lug from A to B.

I organize by room as well, so there's a continuum of "probably won't need soon" boxes (for the kitchen: old mugs, cheese graters) to "will definitely need soon" (spices, plates) boxes.

You want to make sure and accommodate yourself as much as possible. How frustrated are you likely to be if you lose this item? If you think you would be very upset very quickly, put it in the more important boxes.

Label all boxes on every side, in detail

As you pack, consider what you're putting away.

Instead of labeling a box full of knives, tea, and a microwave just "kitchen supplies," consider something like this instead:

"Kitchen supplies:

Chef's knives
Tea bags
Microwave"

You might be thinking that it's a huge pain to write everything out. But your future self will thank you as you're pawing through boxes, looking for that can opener you desperately need.

Instead of digging through a pile and fruitlessly searching through boxes, you’ll be able to glance at a box and instantly know what’s inside.

Take a sharpie, label in DETAIL everything in the box on EVERY side. Top, bottom, the 4 sides. You’ll be so thankful you did this!

It is incredibly helpful, even vital. I have experienced many shutdowns while digging through boxes, frustrated that I couldn’t find the one specific item I needed that I KNOW I packed somewhere.

Save yourself a shutdown later!

Take it a day at a time

Most importantly, as you're packing, you need to pace yourself.

If you have a month to get ready for a move, work your hardest to space out packing across that month-- instead of waiting for the last minute. I know this may be particularly challenging but it takes much of the stress out of moving.

Don’t try to do everything in one go if you can avoid it. Pack a box a day. Pack a few boxes every few days. There's multiple ways to break it up to make it more bearable.

The goal here is to prevent exhaustion or overwhelm, which can lead to a shutdown.

As soon as you’ve signed the new lease, and you know you’ll be moving in about a month, start packing up the stuff you use the least.

This means starting with:

Closet items
Clothes you don't wear
Books you aren't currently reading
And more items that just sit around 90% of the time. Decorations, wall hangings, etc.

This will help a LOT. Moving will feel much more manageable if you use your time wisely.

Move everything (slowly)

Here's the most taxing part of the process: moving everything.

If you have the spare money, a moving service could be incredibly useful. However, many of us don't have that luxury.

Similar to packing, I recommend moving everything a bit at a time (depending on the distance to your new home.)

If it's a few countries away, obviously it may be tricky to move without a van or a flight in one big go.

If it's in the same state, perhaps you can get away with a few separate trips.

The stereotype of friends and family asking for help moving exists for a reason. Consider asking your friends and family to support you with a move. The kind thing to do is to offer something in return. Offer to pay for dinner, or supply snacks and drinks during the move.

This may make it significantly easier on yourself without breaking the bank.

Set up a place to relax

You may be tempted to start unpacking random boxes once your move is complete. Your new home is full of cardboard and luggage and you want it organized and gone already.

Instead, consider this: set up a home base in your home for you to relax.

Whether that's getting the couch settled in its new home, laying your mattress flat on the floor in the bedroom, or just making a cozy nest of blankets, you're going to want somewhere nice to take a break from all the unpacking.

This is because you’re going to get exhausted, and quicker than you think as an Autistic.

In my experience, you’re going to get frustrated and need a break as well.

Ultimately, you don’t want to lay on the floor, it’s uncomfortable for long periods.

It will help you recover from the edge of shutdown/meltdown to have a comfy area set up for you to relax.

Explore as a break from unpacking

If you've moved to a new town, state, or country, you may not be familiar with the area at all. When you're tired from unpacking, consider taking a walking or driving tour of the nearby areas to see what's easily accessible.

If your new home doesn't have a built-in washing machine, you should find a laundromat.

We all need grocery stores, and cafes are fun to locate too.

Even just finding good places to take a stroll can be incredibly useful information to know.

Take this opportunity to get around town a bit, calm down, re-center, and get ready for setting up more of your home base bit by bit.

Get something over the windows

Most new homes don't come with curtains or other essentials.

A classic in my family is this maneuver: pinning blankets over the windows with thumbtacks before you buy properly sized curtains. Or you can pack the curtains with your other essentials.

Being woken up by a face full of sunlight at around 6 or 7am is NOT the way you want to start the day right after a move. This awakening can compound with the stress of the move into a series of shutdowns.

Final thoughts

Overall, remember that this process requires some patience. Your new home won't be set up exactly like your old home, and it will take some time to get back to that level of comfort again.

What tips do you have for the moving process? Let us know in the comments below!